Day: 11. July 2010

The box, the box was my only option. So, I put the puzzle back together and hid what I really felt. Because no one would understand, Mom had stuff to do, she wouldn’t listen. Oh, and Grandma, no, she is just out of the question…We haven’t spoken since 7:00 at night when she told me to turn out the lights.

Yeah, I was broken, I thought I couldn’t make it. I thought about how it would feel to run away and I knew this chaos wouldn’t end either way. I had it all planned out, my life, my hopes, my dreams; But it was all taken away and I swore I’d find the thieves. But all I saw was little old me, What have I done? Who would blame me? Who would slap me in the face and put my shame up like a banner? These questions haunted me but even though…I couldn’t find out.

It was all gone, every oppurtunity I had ever reached for. It flew away and shattered to pieces like some puzzle or a frozen Reeses pieces. I had it all, the money, the popularity, every body knew my name, and then in a second I was rated Lame.

And in the end, I put all my feelings into a box and burried it; I swore to myself I’d never open it. I’d never touch the thing ever again, I would never open it up and burden my dreams. Because I cried, I cried like I a seven year old wanting her Mom.

Because I had lost the chance to become more than just That Kid.

I thought I could carry on

But I can’t take another step towards you because I’ll fall back

I thought I was strong

Yeah, physically, but that doesn’t mean what you say doesn’t hurt

What if I was her?

The one lying dead in the ground

Would you respect me ,then?

Would you hold me tight and say it’ll all be alright???

Could you even say SORRY for telling all of those lies?

Well, I’m sorry

I’m sorry you had to see me this way

And ,Thank Heavens, I’m not her lying in that casket

Because if it was…Even after death I’d be hoping its just a dream.