Category: Jokes/Riddles

Tickle your bones with funny Jokes & Riddles

Hey guys! I felt like righting jokes and riddles today. Try guessing them! Also, please don’t cheat. Don’t look it up. If you can’t find out and really want to know, then look it up. But don’t post your answer after than, okay? Please play fair!

Riddle #1:

What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away?

Riddle #2:

Why are cooks cruel?

Riddle #3:

There was a man who wanted to prove to his wife how much he loved her, so he climbed the highest mountain, swam through the deepest sea, and walked through the largest dessert. What do you think the wife said to him when he returned.

Riddle #4:

How do you stop a dog in the back seat to stop barking?

Riddle #5:

Imagine you are in a boat. Now imagine there are six sharks circling your boat, how do you escape?

Joke #1:

Italy got hungry,

Ate Turkey,

Slipped on Greece,

Broke China,

Went shopping in Iceland,

And got eaten by Wales

Joke #2:

Brrring! Brrring!

Who’s there?

Hurd.

Hurd who?

Hurd my hand so I couldn’t knock knock. 

This animal can swim

It’s a reptile

It has 4 legs

It is bigger than other reptiles

It eats other animals

What is it?

What is a word so fragile that when you say the word it breaks?

There is a blind beggar who has a brother but that brother has no brothers! How can this be?

Each morning I appear
To lie at your feet,
All day I will follow
No matter how fast you run,
Yet I nearly perish
In the midday sun.

What do you get if you mix a car, a fly, and a pet?

What was the tallest mountain before mount. Everest was discovered.

The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?

The person who makes it, sells it.  The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn’t know they are.

What is it?no cheating

What is in seasons, seconds, centuries and minutes but not in decades, years or days?

There was a green house.  Inside the green house there was a white house.

Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies.

What is it? no cheats

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I’ll pop.
If you look at me, you’ll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

NO CHEATING JUST LEAVE BEST GUESS!

I never was, am always to be.  No one ever saw me, nor ever will.

And yet I am the confidence of all, To live and breath on this terrestrial ball.  What am I? no cheats

It is greater than God and more evil than the devil.

The poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you’ll die.  What is it? NO cheats just guess

I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?

Dont cheat!

Leave your best guesses

Twins stand at a fork in  the road.

One always tells the truth; the other always lies.

One road leads to prosperity; the other to destruction.

You can only ask one question to one of the twins.

What question do you ask to find the right road.

The more you take away from me the bigger I become.

What am I?

found this it’s great made the pic myself

Completely awesome!
Person: kitten fight!
Person2: no wait I’m allergic to adorableness!
~ fwump!~
Person2: awwwww!……

_________
|.  REST   |.
|.   IN    |
|.  PEACE  |
|. |
/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\|/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /| /\ /\ /\ /\ /\

I give you warmth and pain.

A good morning is incomplete without me.

Kill me and your life will be dark.

What am I?

There once was a man from Peru
Who had a lot of growing up to do,
He’d ring a doorbell,
then run like hell,
Until the owner shot him with a .22

There once was a man from kanass
Who’s nuts were made out of brass
in stormy weather
he’d clack them together
and lightning shot out of his ass
There once was a boy named Dan,
who wanted to fry in a pan.
He tried and he tried,
and eventually died,
that weird little boy named Dan.

toodles doodles