The cave was cold, damp, and dank, and it matched my mood. I slumped down and took a deep breath. It takes a lot of effort to hike here, but it’s worth it to get away from the chaos of my life. The cave was my secret hideaway, a place where I keep a stash of junk food, paperbacks, pens, and notebooks, where I go when I’m fed up with drama, gossip, and annoying siblings.  Every time I come here, my parents have a freak-out and when I come back, I pretend I went to a friend’s house or to get ice cream. Because this cave is my place, and nobody else can know about it.

I started sixth grade about 5 months ago, and already I have a reputation as the “weird” kid.  The kid that all the other kids gossip about because god forbid, a person should be so different. Rumor has it that all the boys have crushes on me, they’re just afraid to ask me out. Stupid gossip.

JANUARY 12, 2012

Today school was as normal. Something, nothing, more nothing. That was what the learning was like, of course. The activities other than class were much different.

You know how every year there’s a different fad? A new fad has been born: zapping. You write a time on the back of somebody’s hand and on their palm, you write a person of the opposite gender’s name. If you look at your palm before the time, you need to ask that person out. Naturally, this is just fuel for the machine that is gossip.  I got a little goofy during the after-school science program I go to because Emma zapped me and go figure: she wrote the name of the kid I have a crush on.  God, I’m getting stereotypical. Sometimes it’s hard not to.  I’m stopping before I turn in to one of those kids in books with titles like “How I Survived Middle School”.

I sat back and sighed. I liked journals. I got my thoughts out and told every detail I wanted, without fear of mocking or someone spilling the beans. Notebooks allow you to spill your thoughts fearlessly. And that’s just perfect for me or anybody who lives with a bossy fourteen-year old sister.

(P.S: Thanks guys for all the comments! Keep them coming!)

I stand up and brush the pebbles off of me. The pebbles had pressed in to my hand and made little marks.  The marks were like my life, scattered, unexpected, and sometimes out of order.

The next day, I walked in to homeroom. I sat down and got out my stuff.  Our teacher gave us time before the first period bell to just hang out, go to our lockers, and get our stuff out.  A girl in my class named Anna came up to me. Immediately, a big neon sign saying “UH-OH!” flashed in my head. I had a history with this girl. You see, in fourth grade, I used to be friends with her. Until I wised up and realized that she was using me for homework answers and so that she could spit back whatever I said to her “real” friends and use it as gossip material. I dumped her like a hot potato. In fifth grade, she came back for revenge and bullied me mercilessly. I learned to ignore it becuase by the end of the fifth grade, I found my real friends and finally learned just to be myself, even if the real me is different. In sixth grade, I gained the admiration of the boys, who I sometimes liked, becuase they were less judgemental than girls, but sometimes hated because they were annoying, teasing jerks. Anyway, this girl came up to me. That day, I wore the llama shirt my sister made me. (Confession: I have a llama obsession and my sister sometimes is nice.)  She asked me a few humiliating questions. By the time she finished her interrogation, I was gripping my book so hard I thought I would rip it apart. I yelled at her. She acted innocent. Typical.

Fast foward to sixth period. I’m sitting in math. I’m ready to kill the kid that sits next to me since he stole my eraser and won’t give it back. Jerk. SO typical.

Fast foward to five P.M. I’m talking about my day. TYPICAL!

GRRRRRRR!

I was so frustrated and tired of the same thing every single day. I needed to break free of the grind. Tomorrow night, I would be going to a bat mitzvah party for these twin girls in my class. Maybe that’s what I needed to get out of my rut

The next night, I got dressed. When I got to the party, my friends were already there. So we’re talking and hanging out, and I’m making sarcastic comments. Then the most obnoxious kids in my class arrive, one of them being my beloved companion from math. (I later found out that they actually crashed.) Okay, breathe. They don’t acknowledge me. Brief sigh of relief. We sit down to eat. Once again, we’re eating and chilling out. Then comes a moment that will go down in my personal history as the awkwardest moment in my life: the squeeze. (Cue the dramatic music.)  Yes, one of the obnoxious crew, actually squeezed my shoulders. One moment I was talking and chilling, and the next minute I felt a squeeze. I turned around, and yelled, ” You jerk! Get off- now!” Then came the sorrounding of our table. The rest was just a blur of sarcastic comments and the few moments I remember are my beloved companion asking for a dance and a fist bump, another kid asking for high-fives, and the discussion of how jerky the boys are. The rest of the night-dancing.

I basically got what I wanted- a break from the daily grind.

On Monday, school was okay. Surprisingly, math is the most interesting class of the day. Not because math is a particuarly interesting subject, but because I sit near some pretty strange people. For example, today I heard somebody calling “Danielle” and I turned around and one of the craziest kids in my class said “Hi.” Honestly, I don’t know how I keep sane.

JANUARY 15, 2012

Did I ever describe my class’s cliques? I’ve looked through and apparently I didn’t. This is long overdue.

Girls

1. Gossip Lovers- gossipus loverie- Known as the “root of all gossip”. Love spreading rumors. Pretend to innocently ask you personal questions and then spread rumors about you. Most popular.

Likes: Gossiping, Being Mean, Rumors

Dislikes: Anybody who stands up to them, Anybody who’s different

2. Popular Clique- annoyingus populares- Known as tight-knit, exclusive group. Friendly to others, but still tight-knit.

Likes: Origami, Sports, Dancing, Anything Cool

Dislikes: Anything that’s uncool.

3. In-Betweeners- Betweenus-  Known for being not cool, but not uncool. Liked by most. Where I am.

Likes: Being Different, Sarcasm

Dislikes: Wannabes, People With Egos

Boys

1. Obnoxious and Popular- jerkus popularie- most boys. Known for being jerks.

Likes: Teasing Girls, Especially In-Betweeners, Hit Songs

Dislikes: N/A

2. In-Betweeners- betweenus- Boys who are okay.

Likes: Stupidity, Stupid Games

Dislikes: N/A

My face burned. My stomach turned. My teacher looked at me. She had caught me taking back the eraser that the kid who sat next to me stole. I tried to explain. A few other boys said, “Yeah, he steals her stuff everyday.” The teacher just said that it sounds very juvenile, she’s not getting involved, and told the kids who tried to defend me to be quiet. KILL ME NOW.

Flash foward a few weeks. I aced my science fair project, read, did school stuff, went to one or two parties. You know, stuff. As I sit here in eighth period, social studies, copying notes, somebody’s voice calls me back. It’s the kid who sits in front of me. “Hey, did you know that our last period teacher is absent?” We both pump our fists victoriously.

“We should set aside our differences in order to agree that it is great that our last period is a free one,” he says, holding out his hand for a high-five. We high-five. Later, I hear him tell his buddies. “She slapped me five!” Ummmmmmmm………

The next morning, I need to walk throught the hall with the boys’ lockers. I see a few other girls in the hall. Oh, great, they’re popular. They’re not going to defend me. Damn you social hierachy. One of the boys tries to hug me. He’s a creepy weirdo, as are most of the boys in my grade. Why do I have to be one of their targets? I push him off and send him staggering backwards. “What’d you do that for?” he says. He points to a few of the “popular”girls. “She lets me hug her, she lets me hug her,” he says. “I really care,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I get a little in his face and yell, “Unfortunately, I have dignity!” Victory in School Day!